Self-Portrait On Christmas Days - When Your Gleaming Green Turns Into My Deepest Blue

When Your Gleaming Green Turns Into My Deepest Blue

I wish I could play Joni Mitchell’s “River” right next to you while looking at my work

A song makes Christmas feel pensive as we miss our loved ones who didn’t stay

We don’t get snow here, but this year I feel it’s colder than New York

Wish I had a river I could skate away on from the Bay

Instead, I live in a tiny box without all the flashing light

Turn on my lamp, set the lights to red and green, now a room full of Christmas

Paint myself through a mirror, gaze myself on the other side, the moon cease to be bright

Stand still in front of the mirror for hours in that festive room, my face becomes luminous

Another battle of warm color against the cool, they reconcile and make me look so blue

Scrutinize myself for too long that my features start to deconstruct

Then I begin to appreciate the things I’ve never knew

My lips never looked so supple and it is glazed with a cherry red, light and shadow conduct

Christmas ends and they haven’t take down the tree

The silence of outside, the overstayed mistletoe and the leftover Christmas Eve’ beef stew

A season of endless thoughts, sinking in the heart of the sea

That’s when your gleaming green turns into my deepest blue